Mary Sue just got a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and, with his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual Mary Sue jokes. Just then a stunning girl wearing a green dress, with floor length auburn hair and fairy wings in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your Mary Sue jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype us that way? What does the unrealistic color of a person's hair or eyes, the unfair advantages we give ourselves, the relationships we have with canons and the selfish way we role play have to do with our worth as human beings? It's guys like you who keep Mary Sues like me from being taken seriously and treated like the fairy princesses we are. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only mary Sues, but Gary Stus as well, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and she yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
Did you hear about the incredibly buxom Mary Sue who lost the breast stroke swimming competition? She complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
Kawaii Sue comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mom and says: "Mommy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?"
One day I was jumping up and down on a set of railroad tracks saying, "21,21,21." A Mary Sue walked by, noticed me, and started jumping up and down on the tracks and repeated what I was saying. I heard a train whistle and jumped off of the tracks. The Mary Sue kept jumping and saying, "21,21,21." The train ran over her and I laughed. When the train ended, I jumped back on the tracks and started saying, "22,22,22."